Building a relationship during times of stress (or the hubbub of the holiday season) sometimes seems like the last thing we want to do.
With everything else seeming more important, it’s easy to fall into familiar traps where we see the other person as our aggravating, progress-blocking, obstacle who is doing whatever they’re doing to hurt us… on purpose.
Often this is not true at all, in reality it’s just a distraction from intimacy manufactured from conclusions we’re jumping to, or the desire to protect ourselves without really knowing the full story.
However, there are times when the other person really is trying to get under our skin or deliver a few well placed emotional punches.
No matter how innocently it begins, without thoughtfulness it always escalates.
A poorly chosen word, a reaction, spines going up, assumptions made, angry energy brewing, pretty soon everyone is pointing the finger at someone else and relationship building is the furthest thing from anyone’s mind. But when faced with this contentious energy, we actually have an amazing opportunity to join and to build the relationship to an even higher level of connection.
Breaking the “Self-Inflicted Prison”
So many of my clients visit me when they feel their life is at a crossroads, either having to make a difficult decision about a relationship/marriage, work etc, losing a loved one, losing a job, relocating, issues with low self esteem, wanting to know when love will come, kids and family issues, etc.
It made me think of does fear of the new, of the unknown is causing a “freeze” (staying in self-inflicted prison) which prevents a person to move on.
I therefore decided to write about how to accept change in order to give you, my dear friend, tools to do the transit as easily, positively and as productively as possible.