This week’s question comes from a client who’s in a long term relationship with a man she loves and to whom she is now engaged. A wedding date hasn’t been set because she’s feeling ambivalent.
She says he’s a good man — loving, kind, successful, with a large family who considers her one of their own.
They’re both established in their careers and financially secure, and he wants to get married and start a family of their own.
So what’s the problem? She’s worried that the passion has dwindled in their 5-year relationship and is terrified of making a mistake.
She says her fiance is sometimes emotionally detached and withdrawn and wonders if there isn’t something she can do to reignite the passion in their relationship. She’s afraid that if she puts off setting a wedding date much longer she’ll lose him for good.
She wants to know what she can do to improve her relationship and asks “Am I supposed to feel excited?”
Here’s her response:
It’s understandable that you’d feel with so many decisions that you’ve had to make in the past, that you wouldn’t want it to feel like the next ones you’re making are even more crucial because you know it’ll be something that can really change your whole life! I pulled two cards to see where the focus and challenge would be shown in your question.
I used the beautiful Shadowscapes Tarot for your reading and pulled two cards: King of Wands and Eight of Pentacles.
King of Wands – While you may be expecting him to take the lead; even though you recognize the emotional detachment that he has, you’re also needing to speak up for yourself and not feel as though you can’t tell him of the concerns and insecurities that you’re having.
Marriage is teamwork and from what it looks like and what you’ve said from the past, you’ve been able to manage that pretty well.
But the passion being lacking can also come from a place of feeling like things are needing to be more in “control” or that decisions need to be more concrete.
Or if you go to the flipside of that feeling, it can be one that can be a lack of wanting the control; to just be spontaneous and able to throw the cares to the wind and be free!
Just breathe!! You’re giving yourself a little anxiety from overthinking it all. Try to also be aware of his emotions as well, but if you remember what had attracted you to one another in the first place you’ll be able to see that you’re making the right choices; together!
Now for the challenge though..
Eight of Pentacles– It’s a little hard to see the clearing through the forest.
But like in this card’s depiction, the spider is weaving the web not thinking of what’s next and is creating what is needed to continue on while also having the ability to not worry if a little backtracking on the web needs to happen.
But the work IS needed in order to bring about the results and it can only be achieved with diligence. So it is NOT the time to throw up your hands.
Gardeners are a great way to imagine this as they put the seeds in the ground and hope the results are plentiful. They don’t really know until weeks later, but they still water that little dirt patch hoping for the best!
The path isn’t always always so clear cut and if you are only looking to the results, you’ll end up missing what’s going on during the process.
There is practicality here, but the stifling emotions or only feeling as though things are continuing on out of necessity honestly might not be coming from the two of you; but may be more of the perceptions that friends or family could places upon these life milestones and THAT may be why it feels like things are lacking excitement.
With a little more affection being infused, from both of you, this relationship is sure to be dynamic for the long run with the amount of love, patience, and understanding that the two of you have one another!
If you would like to a more indepth reading, please feel free to visit my website, or leave me a message below!
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