A Relationship With Your Ex, Good or Bad Idea

It’s hard being single for the holidays, but it seems the hardest time to be alone is Valentine’s Day. That’s usually the time most people start rethinking if they should have broken up with their partner and if they should take them back. Is trying to go back to a relationship with your ex really a good idea?

Let me just say, instead of thinking about how you can get your ex back, you might want to remember why they are an ex.

If they cheated on you before, chances are really good they will cheat again. Was the relationship abusive, either physically or mentally, it won’t change? Time doesn’t really heal all wounds, it just sometimes makes us forget just how bad it hurt because we are lonely.

Often people will remember only the good times but you have to also remember why the relationship didn’t work.

Do you want to be in a relationship, no matter how bad, just so you have someone in your life? Will you take back your ex just because you don’t want to be alone? Sadly, that seems to be two of the main reasons I hear all the time from people, especially around Valentine’s Day.

You see others getting pretty flowers, candy or gifts. Maybe you hear them making plans for a romantic dinner or getaway and you starting thinking about how much you miss that attention. Valentine’s Day is just that, one day of the year so you might want to remember if you get back with your ex, they may plan on sticking around for more than a day.

I think sometimes we get so comfortable in a relationship, we forget it’s not working but it’s just easier to stay rather than have to go out and start all over. For those who had their heart broken, I think we often fear getting hurt all over again so we just go back with an ex to avoid having to go through it all again. What we fail to do is remember how bad it hurt being in the bad relationship and stop denying just how bad it really was with your ex.

This is not to say that reuniting with an old love doesn’t always happen, it does. If you were young, only parted ways because you both chose different schools or career paths, and you parted friends, then I would say you might have a good chance of reconnecting. However, even in this scenario, if either of you are currently married or in a relationship, you might want to think about the others involved who would be hurt.

I had many single Valentine Days in my past but I’ll let you in on how I got through it without going back to the past. I bought myself a pretty bouquet of flowers, dressed up and went out with a bunch of my friends that were also single. We decided to have a good time instead of dwelling on being single.

Remember, an ex is an ex for a reason. If it didn’t work then, it is a good bet it won’t work this time either. Words hold no value if the actions to back them are missing.



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