Cheating. Who is really to blame? Ask anyone that has recently suffered the pain of a betrayal and they will almost certainly level the blame at the ‘other’ person.
But is that fair? When two people agree to monogamy, they make that agreement with one another. When someone steps outside of that commitment, it is they who have chosen to break that agreement.
The ‘other’ person may not even be aware, may have been mislead or may be fully aware and not care, but whatever the case may be, they are not the ones who made a commitment to you. They owe you nothing.
So why is blame laid with them?
Denial: Realising that the person that you love has strayed is painful. People in healthy, happy, loving relationships do not just wake up one day and decide to pursue someone else. There are always reasons. But exploring those reasons can sometimes lead to the end of the relationship.
Blaming the outside love interest diverts the attention away from the cracks in the relationship and allows one to lay blame elsewhere, so that the relationship can continue. This is of a course a ‘stay of execution’ rather than a resolution, and can often lead to the affair continuing, being rekindled at a later date or being replaced with another indiscretion.
