True Love Or Just In Love With The Idea Of Love

Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day are all holidays that seem to bring out the marriage proposals. Now with those holidays in our rear view mirror, it’s time to take the next step and get caught up in the frenzy of wedding planning, or is it?

Maybe I watch too many Life Time movies but it seems to me that not all the proposals were well thought out before they were made. In olden days, the prospective groom went to the father of the prospective bride to ask her hand in marriage before he actually proposed. Some families still have that tradition but for most it has gone by the way side. Fast forward about twenty years, the couple fall in love, you buy the ring and propose.

What I’m seeing more and more today are the way out there, over the top wedding proposals and I just can’t help but ask myself, are they saying yes because they really want to get married. From the looks on some of their faces it brings me to the conclusion they are totally caught off guard in front of a lot of people and they don’t want to embarrass themselves or the prospective groom by saying no.

In other cases, some are led to believe you meet, fall in love and then it’s a must to move to the next step which is marriage. Did the prospective bride tell all her friends she was getting a ring for whatever holiday and the prospective groom felt compelled to propose?

With all the social media pressure to post videos of the proposal online, more and more people are trying to top the others. If you’re being proposed to on the jumbo tron at the big game in front of millions of people, can you really have time to decide or do you just say yes to save face? If it’s done on Christmas at dinner with all of the family, what if you have doubts but don’t want to cause a scene, so you just say yes.

Next comes the frenzy of the wedding planning and so many people get caught up in making everything perfect it gets crazy. They even have a reality show called Bridezilla that showcases this very fact. The engagement party, the showers, the bachelor party, the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner and then the final big event. You go on your honeymoon and then suddenly reality sets in, you’re married with all that entails.

If you are not truly in love with the person you just exchanged rings with, you are in for a big awakening. Marriage isn’t all sweetness, flowers and happy moments. It takes work, commitment and understanding of your mate. We are human and all come with flaws, little quirks and sometimes even annoying habits.

There are a lot of things you should work out before you say “I DO”. For instance, where will you live? If you both lived at home with your parents, do you really want to live in one of their basements or did you think to go out and find a place before the wedding. Both having their own places is good but now you have to decide which place you will both live. Finances play a big part in a marriage so something that should be discussed before the big day. Do you both pay half, does one earn more than the other so it’s expected they contribute more? How do you combine your bank accounts or in some cases do you?

I get a lot of clients that ask for readings about the future of their relationship. Many times they don’t like how the reading goes because they are expecting champagne and roses but find they will be dealing with beer and wild flowers. The courtship may have been a whirlwind of kisses and spending every minute together, but once the wedding is over, real life goes back to normal and for many, they can’t accept the outcome.

So before you propose or say yes, think about where you go from there. If it’s true love, you’ll want to go on to the next step, marriage and building a life together. If you are in love with the idea of love, engagements and weddings, maybe you should stop and think before you make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. Only you can decide if it’s really true love or infatuation of the idea of love.



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