Social Media, Helping or Hurting Your Relationship

Every day I log onto a social media site, someone is spreading their intimate life secrets across the globe. Not just their thoughts, anger, disappointments, but some even add complete details. Funny how someone else mentions some things are too personal and they get a nasty reply that it’s none of their business. If you post it for all your friend’s list, not to mention the public, you just made it everyone’s business.

Silly me, I use social media to promote my business, keep in touch with family and friends, find recipes or interesting ideas and get to share pictures or memories with loved ones that live far away. I have a smart phone and tablet, but most times don’t even know where they are because they are not tethered to my hand.

This brings up a bone of contention with me, people who are so busy posting and texting, their phone never leaves their hand. Sitting down to dinner should be family time where you talk to each other, nothing important is happening you can’t wait until dinner is over that you need to constantly check your social media pages. It should be more important to stay connected to your partner and children than people you don’t even really know except on social media.

How often do you see men/women beating up their partners or anyone of that sex all over their social media pages? Next you will see them posting how they can’t seem to find a good person with which to have a solid relationship. Obviously they don’t deserve that good person because they have just bashed every one of that sex.

Another reminder to those that see a good looking guy/girl and then start trolling their social media sites, you are a stalker and no one wants a relationship with a stalker. Just because they smiled or said hello to you does not give you the right to stalk their pages. No, they are not wanting to date you, they were just being polite.

I recently saw an article asking if it would cause problems to have your partner read your social media pages or text messages. Other than it would not be something I would do on principles, my answer was no but so many said it would cause problems. If you are in a committed relationship, why are you worried about what you say or do on your pages or phone? Viral cheating is still cheating, just my opinion, but something I feel should not be done.

You dated someone years ago, just found them on social media and they friended you. They are in a long term relationship, maybe have children and seem very happy. They friended you to catch up on your life, rehash old memories but doubt they are looking to rekindle the romance. You are their past as they are yours, and in most cases better left there. Now, if you are both single, the conversations show you are both still interested, then by all means you should see where it goes.

We don’t really need to know where you are or what you are thinking every minute of the day. Some things should stay off the internet, not to mention it could be dangerous. Letting everyone know where you are, especially when you are away from home or out alone, can send signals to the wrong people. We teach our children safety on the internet but how soon the adults forget.

Be careful who you friend and chat with because you don’t always know if they are being truthful about who they are or if the picture they posted is real. While many wonderful relationships start out on a social media site and turn into a long term committed one, there are many that turn out to be someone looking to take you for your bank account.

Does your partner think you spend too much time on social media? Perhaps it’s the other way around, they are the ones always staying connected. While you/they think it’s just harmless fun, maybe you just play games and chat with friends, but the reality is you are taking time away from your relationship. Setting boundaries, time frames to be online, or just turning off the electronics can benefit both of you. Face time should be actually talking face to face, not something you do on your phone or tablet.

Stalking your ex can’t be a good idea ever, and that includes social media pages. Too often you get angry, lash out on their page without realizing your children and family are reading those posts. I know this may sound old fashioned, but if you are needing to criticize, confront or bash each other, pick up the phone and call them. You don’t really need to put it out there for the whole world to see. You can go back and erase the post, but the damage is already done and that can’t be erased as easily. Also not something that will get you into a new relationship any time soon.

Social media can be a great way to connect and even start a relationship. You’ll have days you just need to vent, put it in a PM to your real friend. A good idea is to think before you type, don’t hit enter or post until you take a few minutes to reflect on what you write. Put your partner and family before your social media friends, make time for them, unplug from your electronics and theirs as well. Take time to actually make some of the recipes you pinned and sit down to a nice family dinner where you share your day with each other, not the entire world.

Social media sites can help or hurt a relationship, but it really depends on what and how you choose to use them. What’s your opinion on this, agree or disagree, let me know in the comments below.



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