Office Romance: Fun for Some, But Not for Everyone

It all started off innocently enough. He was the new guy at the office. She was a co-worker. But then something happened. He started flirting with her, and spinning her head with cool jokes and funny pictures. They would sit together and give each other knowing looks at office meetings.  They got each other’s jokes. Then one day their eyes locked, their hands touched and the “magic” happened, they started falling in love.

In a fast-paced society, where working hours average 40-60 hours a week, it’s no wonder that more than 56% of people have experienced some sort of office romance. The good news is that at least 31% of office romances became long term relationships ending in marriage. (according to Forbes Magazine).

Sometimes we just can’t help being attracted to the people we work with.  Let’s face it, we spend more time with them than with our own families or friends.  They can be a lot of fun.  There’s a great intellectual connection, jokes you ‘get’ and other little things can add up to a big fat romance. Not to mention the fact that you may not have time for a “social” life so work becomes your social life.

I’ve seen Three Types of Office romances


Pam and Jim in a scene in popular TV show: The Office

1). Single people who have no time to date and have met the “right” person. Or who just want a hook up from time to time.  According to Forbes, single people meeting at work are very likely to marry, at least a third of these romances end up in marriage.

2.) Married people who have found a “office wife” or “office husband”: With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment.

office wife“Work marriage” appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the closeness of an office environment. It is associated with love-like feelings. Some “work spouses” admit that sexual attraction between them is present, but is not acted upon, and the sexuality is “channeled” into a productive collaboration.

3.) Married people (or those in a commitment) who get swept up with someone at work and indulge in an affair. The connection and chemistry is so strong, that the desire overtakes them like a tidal wave.

They feel absolutely compatible in every way and start to rethink their marriages. Problems in their marriages seem to rise up where there weren’t any before. This is the most complicated office romance of all. So let’s take a look at these through “case” scenarios, the first we will call Melinda and Bill

The desire can be like a tidal wave overcoming you without you even trying.

The desire can be like a tidal wave overcoming you without you even trying.

Case one: Single couple

Melinda and Bill are single. They started working at a company two years ago and became fast friends, from this a romance formulated and it worked, they decided to get married.

All was well. Until they realized too much “togetherness” wasn’t going to work for them so they chose to work at different companies.

The point is the office romance worked, and they are happy and together. Some couples may stay married and at the same company but it’s usually short lived. Unless of course they build a business together.

Case two. The office spouses.

Trevor and Marian have been working together for the past 10 years in the same business. Marian is Trevor’s plus one in every aspect of work. They travel together, they arrange meetings together, and they connect intellectually. If one is sick, the other feels it. They work as a team. They both go to their perspective spouses at the end of the day, but 40-hours a day 5 days a week, is time they spend together. They love each other. It’s a love without sex, but love nevertheless. They count on each other as much as one would count on a spouse.

The real trick to this relationship is if the spouses understand why they spend so much time together and there is no jealousy. However, if you are in this relationship you have to make sure you give plenty of quality time to your spouse. Office spouses work great together but sometimes home life suffers because of it. So it’s a fine line you have to walk to ensure everyone is happy.

Case 3: Married co-workers find love with each other.

Maria and David have been working together for about a year. Both have hectic lives. Spouses have become the background in their lives. Maria’s husband is so used to routine; he’s become more like a roommate than a lover. David’s wife is so busy with the kids and other activities he feels she has no time for him. They are all about their careers and work becomes a refuge from home.

Their bond began with a project they had to work on together. They clicked so profoundly with the project and each other. They got each other’s jokes, would have dinner together and enjoy and evening after a hard day’s work and call it a “business dinner.”

Eventually the attraction grows so strong that they find themselves at a motel or another hidden place to consummate their soul connection. But then they have their spouses and children to think of, very complicated.

It’s obvious that the case with most risk and heartache is the last one. But when you are human it’s very difficult not to fall in love with someone. Office love, like any love, involves a bit of risk. Yes you can find the person of your dreams in the office, but you may have to weigh out the pros and cons before you take that leap and mix business with pleasure.




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