Have you ever sat down and wondered why you draw the same type of person into your love life giving you the same negative outcome to the relationship?
Let’s face it if you were drawing the right type of person into your love life you would have a better chance at a positive outcome.
There may be something you are playing out from your childhood or what you saw and experienced within your parents’ relationship that you are equating with love. However, if your parents’ relationship was not that great and let’s face it many are not as they are only doing the best they can with the past experiences they have then you may find yourself repeating their pattern without consciously being aware of it.
Sometimes you will find your parents had a great relationship but you have been drawn into bad relationship choices yourself and put at the receiving end of someone else’s idea of what a relationship is all about. Let’s call this living up to your partner’s expectations of what love is and how a relationship is meant to proceed and there’s about as many different types of expectations as you can imagine.
If this has happened to you and you think back on it you may be able to find the defining moment that you were drawn into these types of relationships.
Before you know it you are up against a wall reacting to your partner’s behaviour in the way you see as being “normal” but if this is not the normal reaction they are expecting, given that they have a different relationship pattern to you, then you are pushed into the position of reacting to them in a way that is out of character for you.
By doing so you have just entered the phase of… what the hell is going on and what do I do to fix it?
If you are not aware of what is going on and that you have been pushed into behaving in a way that is not your norm you will keep coming from a place within yourself trying to fix things in the relationship with little impact.
You may feel lost, guilty, defensive, angry, confused and then you will start further trying to fix things from the negative emotions within you.
Is this sounding familiar to you? If so sit down, grab a pen and go back over your previous relationships keeping in mind your own parents’ relationship and see what comes up for you.
by Chrisalis
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This can help you in finding your best way forward as it can show you how to change patterns in relationships and take control again.
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