One of the most common questions I get from clients is about the future of a new relationship.
The beginning of a new relationship can be an exciting time! We are, of course eager to know how this new relationship will unfold.
Numerous studies show that the success of a relationship depends on certain commonalities we share and our willingness to stay present with the other person.
When we are focused on the future it can steer us away from enjoying the moment. It can often consume us – creating lots of negative thought patterns and worry thoughts.
These thoughts can impact on the present dynamics of a relationship in its formative stages – taking us from really being in the now. New connections can stir up old feelings from our past and relationships can test us in many ways. This is a time for exploring the building stages of a new relationship and really tuning into that person.
In a previous article on Creating Conscious Relationships I showed how we can deepen the rapport and intimacy within a relationship (at any stage of it). This is a simple shift in mindset and perspective.
If we can shift our mind to thinking from ‘what can this person give me’, or ‘do we have a future’ to one of exploration and curiosity, then we can actually open up into a new sense of awareness. This shift takes away from doubt worry and fear. This type of thinking creates stress and takes us out of the present moment and we tend to miss out on the connection that is being formed and explored.
Relationships are about exploring and developing a rapport together and taking an interest in that person. Often a person will not reveal their true inner selves until they feel safe enough to do so and this is a process within itself.
Relationships do not happen — they are built and they deepen and grow with presence and mindfulness. A relationship is like walking on sacred ground. There are things to discover and explore. Adopt an attitude of curiosity … who is this person really and what interests YOU about them?
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
For a relationship to thrive and develop we need to remain present. Certain factors are of importance when two people take an interest in each other.
There needs to be a connection initially on a physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual level. This involves an appreciation and respect for the other person’s beliefs, values and/or spiritual path. Both individuals need to be comfortable sharing feelings and thoughts and generally feel intellectually stimulated when conversing with each other.
Now obviously all of these connections may not happen straight away. There may be signs that all of these are present or one or two of them in the early stages of a relationship. Ultimately though it is a process. It is discovered by one thing: Being PRESENT in the now! It means that the only thing that is real or is what is happening is the now. The way to explore what you both may have in common is to be in the present with this person.
As a wise person once said: “The only thing that is real and accessible is what is happening now. The past has gone, the future is not yet here, we need to make the most of what we have here in this very moment. We can’t live in the past or the future, so it is pointless allowing our minds to live there.”
Here are Five techniques to help you remain present in a relationship:
- When the other person is talking, make a conscious effort to hear what they are saying and what it means to them. Use paraphrasing or mirroring to show that you are hearing them Everyone wants to be heard and understood. This process builds intimacy and connection and they are more likely to do the same with you! It will also raise the vibrational frequency!
- Notice when your mind starts to wander and bring it back to the present — this does not discount spontaneity, but you get the idea.
- If you feel distracted for some reason share this with them … it is communication such as this that creates intimacy and validates the other person. Psychologists call this congruency.
- Take a deep breath and acknowledge what is distracting you … is there something there from the past that is triggering you or some sort of judgement happening. It is worthwhile to note what is taking you out of the present moment.
- How About You? Can you try these out and explore?
I look forward to talking with you!
Want to read more articles like this? Visit my website Psychic Aura.
You can also read more of my articles here.