Commitment Phobia and the Long Distance Relationship

commitment phobia

The idea of finding an intense connection with someone on another continent is incredibly romantic and powerful.

It can almost feel like destiny that two souls can find one another in spite of incredible distance. A chance encounter against all the odds.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and there is nothing like distance to make you feel truly bonded to someone.

However, long distance relationships are also very attractive to a commitment phobic.

The built in restrictions and distance can allow them to experience all the positive and romantic aspects of a relationship without any of the day to day regular interaction.

When a commitment phobic person is ready to drop off the radar, there is nothing quite as effective as an ocean or a long flight to enforce that barrier.

Long distance relationships can sometimes have a sporadic flow. When you get to spend time in the same place together, everything is special, you may plan exciting trips, push aside day to day issues and make a huge effort to enjoy the limited time you have together. This can be wonderful but it is not a good representation of what life would be like if you decide to commit to one another and set up home together.

While you are enjoying the limited special times, you are avoiding day to day life. It has the quality of a vacation. There is no way to gage how compatible you are or what life would be like if these special periods were to become a full-on live in commitment.

This is also something that holds great appeal to the commitment phobic. He wants the nice times, the pleasant interactions, the easy going, drama free energy. When things get intense, serious, challenging or, God forbid, you actually NEED his support in a crisis – he is likely to run and hide until the storm has passed.

Now ask yourself how he would possibly manage that if you shared a home?

So how do you know what you are dealing with? Sometimes red flags are so abundant they cannot be missed, unless of course we CHOOSE to pretend they are not there. But if nothing appears to be out of the ordinary watch for consistency in your communications, and have an END GAME.

No one wants to spends years on end having a vacation / online fantasy with someone who is incapable of a commitment. So before you waste precious time, figure out what, and WHO, you are really dealing with.

 

Commitment Phobia and the Long Distance Relationship

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Fiona Beck

Fiona Beck

I am a published author, certified Theta healer and Psychic. My aim is to leave you enlightened and empowered by taking control of your own life. YOU are the author of your destiny! My readings require you to accept that YOU have the power to change the course of your life and nothing is set in stone.

I have written a book: "Relationships: What You Need to Know" and also have my own thriving psychic and relationship oriented website. I am available for skype, chat and phone sessions, offering a variety of payment options.
Fiona Beck

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One comment on “Commitment Phobia and the Long Distance Relationship

  1. Genuine Guidance
    Genuine Guidance

    This is so true Fiona! I know from being in long distance relationships that began on the internet, that when you visit or have your rendezvous in a romantic place, it can be great, but, it isn’t “real”. I would find that I didn’t want to ruin our time together by talking about things that bothered me, since these trips were supposed to be romantic! What would happen on say a 5 day excursion is things would devolve, and finally, by the final day and night we would be together, we would finally start being “real” and not on a “romantic vacation from reality” and start voicing things that may have been sticking points in the relationship. The problem is, nothing ever got resolved because we would both go back to our parts of the world and the cycle would start up again when we would have our “visits”. It is as if you never quite get a good foundation or grounding built. It is great though for those who just want to have all the ice cream and cake of the relationship and not eat the vegetables! I feel that at that time in my life, I was not interested in a realistic relationship (was having Neptune transit my Venus which can bring on seeing what I wanted to see not what really was and escaping reality in love) so, this type of long distance romance suited me fine. The bottom line is, at some point, if you are going to go to the next phase, one or both of you have to pick up stakes and move – either to the other persons turf or find a neutral spot to start your “real” relationship! I also believe that it may not be only “his” commitment phobia – whether we want to admit it or not, we enter into relationships that we choose to or that meet where we are “at” at that point in life. Most times, “both” people are choosing to not commit! Great article. 🙂

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